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POLYGAMY
Who
Practices Polygamy?
Polygamy
has been practiced by mankind for thousands of years. Many of the
ancient Israelites were polygamous, some having hundreds of wives.
King Solomon (peace be upon him) is said to have had seven hundred
wives and three hundred concubines. David (Dawood) had ninety-nine
and Jacob (Yacub, peace be upon them both) had four. Advice given
by some Jewish wise men state that no man should marry more than
four wives. No early society put any restrictions on the number
of wives or put any conditions about how they were to be treated.
Jesus was not known to have spoken against polygamy. As recently
as the seventeenth century, polygamy was practiced and accepted
by the Christian Church. The Mormons (Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter Day Saints) has allowed and practiced polygamy in the United
States.
Monogamy
was introduced into Christianity at the time of Paul when many revisions
took place in Christianity. This was done in order for the church
to conform to the Greco-Roman culture where men were monogamous
but owned many slaves who were free for them to use: In other words,
unrestricted polygamy.
Early
Christians invented ideas that women were "full of sin" and man
was better off to "never marry." Since this would be the end of
mankind these same people compromised and said "marry only one."
In
the Western society many times when relations are strained, the
husband simply deserts his wife. The he cohabits with a prostitute
or other immoral woman without marriage. Actually there are three
kinds of polygamy practiced in Western societies:
-
serial
polygamy, that is, marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce, and
so on any number of times;
-
a
man married to one woman but having and supporting one or more
mistresses;
-
an
unmarried man having a number of mistresses.
Islam
condones but discourages the first and forbids the other two.
Wars
cause the number of women to greatly exceed the number of men. In
a monogamous society these women, left without husbands or support,
resort to prostitution, illicit relationships with married men resulting
in illegitimate children with no responsibility on the part of the
father, or lonely spinsterhood or widowhood.
Some
Western men take the position that monogamy protects the rights
of women. But are these men really concerned about the rights of
women? The society has so many practices which exploit and suppress
women, leading to women's liberation movements from the suffragettes
of the early twentieth century to the feminists of today.
The
truth of the matter is that monogamy protects men, allowing them
to "play around" without responsibility. Easy birth control and
easy legal abortion has opened the door of illicit sex to woman
and she has been lured into the so-called sexual revolution. But
she is still the one who suffers the trauma of abortion and the
side effects of the birth control methods. Taking aside the plagues
of venereal disease, herpes and AIDS, the male continues to enjoy
himself free of worry. Men are the ones protected by monogamy while
women continue to be victims of men's desires. Polygamy is very
much opposed by the male dominated society because it would force
men to face up to responsibility and fidelity. It would force them
to take responsibility for their polygamous inclinations and would
protect and provide for women and children.
Among
all the polygamous societies in history there were none which limited
the number of wives. All of the relationships were unrestricted.
In Islam, the regulations concerning polygamy limit the number of
wives a man can have while making him responsible for all of the
women involved.
"Marry
women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that
you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one
or one that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable,
to prevent you from doing injustice." (Qur'an 4:3)
This
verse from the Qur'an allows a man to marry more than one woman
but only if he can deal justly with them. Another verse says that
a person is unable to deal justly between wives, thus giving permission
but discouraging.
"You
will never be able to deal justly between wives however much you
desire (to do so). But (if you have more than one wife) do not
turn altogether away (from one), leaving her in suspense..." (Qur'an
4:129)
While
the provision for polygamy makes the social system flexible enough
to deal with all kinds of conditions, it is not necessarily recommended
or preferred by Islam. Taking the example of the Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) is instructive. He was married to one woman,
Khadijah, for twenty-five years. It was only after her death when
he had reached the age of fifty that he entered into other marriages
to promote friendships, create alliances or to be an example of
some lesson to the community; also to show the Muslims how to treat
their spouses under different conditions of life.
The
Prophet (peace be upon him) was given inspiration from Allah about
how to deal with multiple marriages and the difficulties encountered
therein. It is not an easy matter for a man to handle two wives,
two families, and two households and still be just between the two.
No man of reasonable intelligence would enter into this situation
without a great deal of thought and very compelling reasons.
Some
people have said that the first wife must agree to the second marriage.
Others have said that the couple can put it into the marriage contract
that the man will not marry a second wife. First of all, neither
the Qur'an nor Hadith state that the first wife need be consulted
at all concerning a second marriage let alone gain her approval.
Consideration and compassion on the part of the man for his first
wife should prompt him to discuss the matter with her but he is
not required to do so or to gain her approval. Secondly, the Qur'an
has explicitly given permission for a man to marry "two or three
or four." No one has the authority to make a contract forbidding
something that has been granted by Allah.
The
bottom line in the marriage relationship is good morality and happiness,
creating a just and cohesive society where the needs of men and
women are well taken care of. The present Western society, which
permits free sex between consenting adults, has given rise to an
abundance of irresponsible sexual relationships, an abundance of
"fatherless" children, many unmarried teenage mothers; all becoming
a burden on the country's welfare system. In part, such an undesirable
welfare burden has given rise to bloated budget deficits which even
an economically powerful country like the United States cannot accommodate.
Bloated budget deficits have become a political football which is
affecting the political system of the United States.
In
short, we find that artificially created monogamy has become a factor
in ruining the family structure, and the social, economic and political
systems of the country.
It
must be a prophet, and indeed it was Prophet Muhammad (peace
be upon him) who directed Muslims to get married or observe patience
until one gets married. 'Abdullah b. Mas'ud reported Allah's messenger
as saying, "Young man, those of you who can support a wife should
marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves
you from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves
to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire."
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Islam
wants people to be married and to develop a good family structure.
Also Islam realizes the requirements of the society and the individual
in special circumstances where polygamy can be the solution to problems.
Therefore, Islam has allowed polygamy, limiting the number of wives
to four, but does not require or even recommend polygamy.
In
the Muslim societies of our times, polygamy is not frequently practiced
despite legal permission in many countries. It appears that the
American male is very polygamous, getting away with not taking responsibility
for the families he should be responsible for.
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